I’ve not blogged in a lot time. My reasons for this is forgiveable, because I haven’t been in a good place; mentally or physically. It’s been dragging me down, and I’ve been struggling to cope. However, mentally I’m starting to become stronger, it’s just tough to remember that a bad day, week or even month, doesn’t automatically warrant that dreaded fear.
‘Am I getting worse again?’
That fear, the one that plagues every person right to their very bones. Just the speculation of the fact you could be going on a downhill spiral is enough to trigger a mini one in itself. There isn’t anything like it, the wordless angst that everything in your life is going to go to shit again. Friends get pushed away, work goes unfinished, grades slide; life plans melt right out of view and happiness? Well you can kiss goodbye to feeling happy my friend, and get ready to feel miserable, lonely and in mental anguish, or in my eyes, even worse is feeling numb.
But it’s not like that; I’ve spent two years on the recovery path now, and I still have months or weeks where I feel like my life is worthless and that there’s no point. But I know I don’t want to do anything rash, because in my head I have big plans for my future, and I’d been a fool to let that go to waste. And it does get better, slowly, at a snail’s pace.
In memory of the lovely Robin Williams, who also suffered depression, here are several quotes from such a wonderful inspiration guy.